A melting pot of thousands of Americans showed up today at the Tropicana Hotel Casino and Resort on the infamous Vegas Strip for the first annual Online Knot Tying Festival.
All of the guests had been carefully screened and selected amongst over a million applicants in order to be deemed eligible for this event, a craze which is not only sweeping across this country but the entire globe as well.
Take the case of Mr. Ashram Sadat, a nicely groomed, tall and lean 28 year old American born male of Middle Eastern dissent. Mr. Sadat’s parents, having arrived together in this country as political and religious refugees after fleeing Iran in 1979, began a family in their new home in northern Los Angeles. Mr. Sadat went to public school before entering USC for both an undergraduate and master’s degree and claims that his American upbringing was fairly typical and not at odds with his parent’s traditions and customs brought with them from the Middle East. Outside of some dietary preferences Mr. Sadat claims all have assimilated with ease, perhaps since they were deemed, “Westerners” back in Iran.
He couldn’t find love in America. Despite academic and professional success, Mr. Sadat stated in an interview yesterday, that he became introverted over time when women on campus became way too free and easy with their notions about partnering. Mr. Sadat claimed he felt unfulfilled sleeping with a different co-ed nearly monthly which then spiraled into weekly and subsequently daily. Mr. Sadat claims to have tried the conventional methods of going to parties, partaking in Spring Break hooplas, and then clubbing before attempting to date on an array of internet sites. As Mr. Sadat claims, he came up empty handed though his credentials (and demeanor as far as this reporter can remark) were stellar.
Out of boredom and frustration a miracle occurred for Mr. Sadat. One day while Mr. Sadat was at the home of another male friend, Mr Adi Shy, a computer game designer, the two wound up passing hours playing Sim City. It didn’t end there, for within a matter of weeks, Mr. Sadat and his friend, Adi found their way through cyberspace to the latest Sim site, Sim’s Online “Uni Wed” short for universe wedding a program designed for couples to meet and marry. In this site both men set up homes typically starting out with a parallel life to their own as messy bachelors. Within a short time, both men were able to manipulate their alter ego into using the Sim internet dating site called, Simming Out, where dates are arranged. It was not too long after that while on a date, Mr. Sadat’s alter ego was informed of a different venue Sims offers noting that Simming Out is specifically designed for serial daters and one night stands, while Sim’s Uni Wed is designed for those seeking a lasting commitment.
Love at first bite, finally it happened for Mr Adi. Soon after entering the Sim’s Uni Wed site Mr. Adi found true love. Both quick to manipulate their characters through the filings of millions of would-be brides Mr. Adi found, “the one” when his breath was taken away by the former Ms. Shalom. A few months later a wedding was planned, guests arrived and a bride and groom tied the knot in a mutually agreed location. Mr. Sadat served as both a witness and as best man. Ms. Shalom, who is really a 35 year old computer geek located in Egypt became Mrs. Adi after just a few weeks of courtship mentioned in her interview that her growing attraction is in large part due to the persistence on the part of Mr. Adi but also who's manipulation on the site she finds intoxicating . As the story goes, the couple in cyberspace got up each morning, had phone and internet exchanges throughout the day until it became obvious that each’s character had nothing else on their mind but each other. Mr. Sadat in the meantime did not find wedded bliss, as yet, that is. Mr. Sadat is at the front of the line up outside the Tropicana hoping to win a honeymoon should he meet and marry “Mrs. Right” today in the Tropicana’s on site chapel; part of the requirement.
Happily ever after does not end in never-never land. Mr. and Mrs. Adi have now filed their Sim wedding certificate at both the civil clerk’s offices in their respective towns where it was approved and stamped and thereby, in human form, legalized. Apparently, this craze has been sweeping the world with filings in over 250 countries with nearly 1,000 filings petitioned daily.
Wedding bells are ringing simultaneously from two different countries with Uni Wed’s rise quickly becoming the venue of choice for young and old seeking marital bliss. Largely due to the ease in which couples not only find their soul mate matches, but also due to the ease in legalizing matrimony both on and off line, the Sim group has faced growing pressure to accommodate the gay community who’s marriage in cyberspace is not challenged, but is not the case in the “real world”. In an interview with a spokesperson for the Sims corporation it was reported that the Sims lawyers were in the early stages of arranging for such legalized marriages by having the ceremony officiated in countries which allow same sex marriages, such as in England.
Congratulations to all the happy couples, and to Mr. Sadat, let the best man win.
......................................................